i know you dont like me sub-talking about you… but i guess we’re not even friends now, so oh fucking well. but its my fault and i realize this. i cant help that i couldnt control the way that i felt. i shouldnt have said anything. but all i ever wanted was to read that note. it made me so anxious that entire day.. and i never got it. and i get that shit happened to it or whatever. but come on, you could’ve managed to write a new one. kinda pisses me off that i’ve written you three solid notes, and haven’t gotten shit back.. i needed that type of closure to build a bridge and get over it. but no matter what, i want to be your friend… i honestly do.. but it just pisses me off that you don’t act normal around me. its like you’re always tiptoeing around me and i hate it. i want to be someone you feel comfortable around, and it makes me sad that you didn’t feel that way around me. and it makes me sad that, because of me not being able to control my feelings, you had to pull yourself away from me. but i can’t help that i’m so happy some days and so sad the next. i really cant. the smallest things can push me one way or the next, and i don’t know how to handle it. i want you in my life, i’m going to miss you too much. but how can i really miss you when you haven’t truly been around in so long anyways. i hope we get through this and you understand that i cant help that i get so sad, and i just need you there to help me get through it. but i just hope that for now on i can be stronger, and happier. i want you to think im doing alright without you. i dont like feeling weak around you
